I Am Blessed!

The grandchildren will be up soon...again. They jumped out of bed early this morning and ran into the living room and then to my room: "Grandma! Get up! Get up! Santa came! He must have been hungry...we only see crumbs on the plate and the milk is almost gone!" I convinced them to get in bed with me for just a few minutes and after some excited chatter, they fell asleep.

I am blessed beyond comprehension. Three beautiful children...six gorgeous grandchildren...all with me this Christmas morning. God became man, born in a manger - who would have thought it! My heart will miss my husband as the little ones talk about Jesus being born and we pray (LeRoy always read the Christmas story and prayed) but knowing that he is with the Reason for the Season gives me an indescribable peace.

May each of you have a blessed Christmas!

What's That Sound?

I never really thought that much about being alone until my husband died. Not that I always had someone with me up to that point. Being married to an avid hunter meant that I had more than one evening when coon hunting kept him out until well after midnight and I was by myself. But there was a security in knowing that, before long, he would be back home with me. The security was shattered with his death. After the funeral was over and friends and family left, the sounds in my home that had never bothered me before began to take on new meanings. A creak in a floor signaled someone coming down the hall. The wind shoving a branch against the side of my house became a ladder accompanied by a thief. Car lights shining in my bedroom window from a neighbor translated into the flashlight of someone trying to find a way into my home.

I found myself in a boat with an oar named faith and one named fear. And I also found that they did not, in fact, COULD not, work together. I tried to use them both at the same time but only managed to go in a never-ending circle. I had a decision to make: either I would hand over all my fears, all my anxieties, all my worries to the Lord or I would resign myself to living day after day and week after week in fear of what might or might not happen in my life. I chose to give it all to the One who is in control of all things and Who has His hand in mine. I chose to trust the One Who made me.

My trust was put to the test this last week. I had decorated a Christmas tree in a back bedroom. It had a lean-to-the-left look about it but I thought that just gave it character. I hung a few ornaments and a string of lights on the tree and then got ready for bed. I was awakened in the middle of the night by a huge "Boom! Boom!" and a series of bumping and rolling sounds. My heart seemed to leap from my chest as I sat straight up in bed and searched frantically for a flashlight in the nightstand. And then with perfect timing, as He often does, the Lord spoke to my heart: "It's just the tree, Nancy. It's just the tree." Those words immediately began to calm my fears and my heart rate decelerated to a more normal rate. I remembered what David said in Psalm 56:3-4 "When I am afraid, I will trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me?" My trust in the Lord to keep His wings around me and protect me allowed me to lay down and go back to sleep with the knowledge that He is indeed in control of trees that go boom and things that go bump in the night.

Dancing in the Rain

We have had some pretty strong storms this past week here in Missouri. One particular burst of rain happened during the first quarter of our football game. Fortunately I had with me an umbrella big enough to cover nearly a third of the stadium. I needed one that coordinated with my brown jacket and found one with "gold" stamped on the package and then realized after I opened it at home that it actually said "golf." So much for Lasik eye surgery.

But as I sat at the game, I thought back to my first storm without my husband. He had passed away about three months before the big winds and rain hit. The electricity had gone off and candles were everywhere but they did nothing to calm my fears as shingle after shingle flew off the roof and thudded like wounded birds on the lawn. I remember wondering "Will it always be like this? Will I always huddle on the sofa and feel so frightened of everything that comes my way?" I knew that if he had been there, my husband would have grinned and winked and said "It's a big one, isn't it Nance." and I would have been reassured instantly. But he wasn't there nor would he be coming back so I pulled the afghan up around me, prayed silently, and waited for the storm to pass.

That has been three years ago and the "storms" have continued to hit with a vicious force. One "storm" was an empty propane tank on the coldest night of the year. Another was a vehicle that flatly refused to ever run again. Still another was a major financial decision that needed to be made immediately. Storm after storm after storm. And what is the answer?

I read an anonymous quote the other day that said "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...it's about learning to dance in the rain." I love it! Let the rain fall (which one of us could stop it?)...let the winds blow. The amazing thing that I have discovered is that even though I may be drenched again and again, the Lord not only gives me strength to get through the storms but He also gives me a peace in knowing that He is in control no matter what comes my way. Psalm 149:3 says "Let them praise his name with dancing..." Think I might just do that...in the rain.

Load!

I love the fall weather in Missouri! The leaves are dancing and twirling as they leap from the trees and float through crisp air, warmed with only a brush of sunshine. But as beautiful as the weather is, my favorite part of fall was coon hunting. Not that I was an avid fan of the sport but my husband loved it with a passion! He declared to me early in our marriage that nothing compared to taking his dogs to the woods, turning them loose, and listening as they barked and barked, hunting for raccoons. Now, to a new bride, those could be fighting words so I determined to find out just exactly how “nothing compared” to a coon hunt.
After begging for a week, my husband allowed me to accompany him on a hunt. Within two hours, I had gotten water in my boots, lost the leash for his dog and fallen while trying to climb up a bank, accidentally kicking my husband’s wheat light and knocking it in the creek. We came to the same conclusion quickly: he could coon hunt whenever he wanted while I sat at home by the fireplace with hot chocolate.
We had a special routine that we followed every time he hunted. I would stand shivering in the cool fall evening air as he yelled “Load!” and the dogs jumped into their boxes in the back of his truck. Then as he drove around the shed and onto the road, he would honk and wave as I would flip the porch light off and on. I’m sure he was praising the Lord that I was not going with him and I KNOW I was!
If I had to do it over again, I still wouldn’t go coon hunting with him…wheat lights are just too expensive! But how I would love, just one more time, to stand shivering in the cool fall evening air and hear that deep voice yell to his dogs: “Load!”

Welcome to the Place of Grace!

I would like to welcome every single person who happens upon this blog. I decided to create it as a way of sharing with you, the reader, how the Lord has allowed my life to be shaken up but Who has also held on to me with His righteous right hand.

Three years ago, in a span of about 5 months, I lost my brother-in-law, my sister and then my husband. My orderly life and my plans were completely turned upside down. My life today is certainly not what I had in mind. But I have found that absolutely nothing happens to us that does not first pass through our Father's hands. Not only is He in control of everything in this universe but He is faithful.

This continues to be a journey of up's and down's from day to day and I plan to blog about that journey. Some of you may be exeriencing similar journeys. I would encourage you to share your thoughts with me and other readers. We don't have all the answers but we know Who does.

May I end this post with my favorite Scripture of encouragement: Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV) "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."